When I graduated from college in my late 30's with an art degree, I purchased for myself a simple thin silver bracelet cuff with the wise words of Mr. Henry David Thoreau engraved on the front.
“Go confidently in the direction of our dreams! Live the life you've imagined.”
—Henry David Thoreau
This bracelet was not only a reward for myself, for having struggled through 4 years of schooling along with working 30 hours a week, but a reminder that I COULD indeed have the life I imagined!
I wear this cuff everyday... and everyday, I hold it in my hands, read those immortal words, and pray for strength and guidance on this one journey of mine. Confident and knowing all the while that I AM following my passion.. my true heart.. my bliss....
Today, I must stop and ask.. myself... why.. after all this time.. and with all the challenges I have faced... is change... STILL so hard?
I currently find myself in the middle of a big change... never fear it is nothing life threatening or tragic. This change is actually something that I have wanted, have talked about, and somewhat prepared for. However, this change is not exact happening the way I thought it might.
Funny... how we can find ourselves lamenting over a situation we wish we could make different.
Yet, I truly believe, deep down in my heart, that I DO have the ability to change most, if not all, of my situations for the better. But sometimes I pull back...
Is it because I am comfortable.. maybe uncomfortably so... foolishly playing it safe rather than change?
However, despite all the nay saying that goes on in this world and the moments I spend riddled with doubt or fear...I know I will survive and thrive... even through this little change.
it is these days filled with wondering
in the twists and turns of fate, of life
writhing in the sometimes violent downpours
and blinding waves of change
with silent prayers, asking for strength,
searching amidst the darkness, to find the way
swaddling a heart, tangled and torn,
left in the thicket of a languished end
and those final moments overflowing with
dry brittle leaves of past, bitter sweet memories
I walk forward....making careful steps onward,
in this one journey, brave and new from each battle
looking for that faint light
to appear on the horizon
it is there in the distant glow
that hope is waiting to take my hand.