Tuesday, March 17, 2015
A Very Belated
It has been quite some time, in fact, many months since I visited this place. To be honest, I have started several posts, only to abandon them almost as soon as I began to write.
The last half of 2014 was busy, and I busied myself preparing for trips and teaching, so it was easy to sort-of ignore this blog space. After returning home, there were the holidays to occupy me. As days passed, I began to wonder how I would ever explain my absence...
Last summer, as I continued struggling with grief from my mother's unexpected passing, I started mulling over an idea. Perhaps, I needed a sabbatical. I shared my thoughts with my husband in September. Thankfully, he was supportive and thought it was good for me to take a breather.
As 2015 approached, I became more and more excited about a whole year to just paint, rest, and reflect. However in the beginning I felt drained, all I could think about was wrapping the repose of winter around a weary self. I spent time inside a warm home cooking comfort foods, catching up on reading, and doing housework to occupy my days. Then a cloud of guilt and fear settled in. I was not sure if I wanted to share with anyone that I was on sabbatical, worried I might not be missed. I also felt bad having abandoned my business, which was something I had worked so hard to build. I found it difficult to unwind and just let go, which next brought an unwelcome state of creative paralysis with occasional tears. All these years, I had been so driven by my next to-do that when there wasn't any must-do, I literally did not know what to do!
Luckily, I have time... Time to just BE! Only now am I starting to experience a return of my creative self.
As for the remainder of the year, I will continue to operate at a slower pace, intentionally allowing space for personal time and creative endeavors with moments to ponder thoughts on how I want to approach the future. I will check-in from time to time, as I have art or news to share. Thank you, one and all, for your support and may I also wish you a very belated Happy New Year.